Here's a selection of some of my favorite recent little shiny flat round silvery things, big flat round black plasticky things, and little rectangular plasticky things that kinda rattle when you shake them and have big long strings of brown stuff that often spits out of them and gets all tangled up around the dining room chairs and under the bathmat and back to the Entertainment Center by way of the linen closet and a box of Rinso...er, um...where was I? Ah yes, this is what I've been listening to lately.
Death Eats Pez
Torment Dispenser, Wacked Android
THE penultimate (well, I think the ultimate pen has gotta be one of those scented Mr. Sketch deals...mmm, inhale the love...) Cajun Death Metal band.When their lead singer Zane (pictured at right...ooh-wee, isn't he just the cat's pajamas?) belts out his long-dead Uncle RayJean Montpelier's recipe for "Crawdad Jumbalaya" over the frantic and despondent wail of an electric mouth harp, you can't help but leap into the mosh pit and start flailing about, feeling as if YOU were that hot live crawdad steaming in a stewpot...(well, if crawdads were unabashedly Dippity-Doo-coiffured VW Rabbit-convertible-driving white kids from Hoboken or Fresno sporting that "Anthrax-tour-shirt-over-thermal-underwear" look that most of you are, right?).
The Dust Bunnies
Life Under Bed, Greased Helix Productions
Do you like Smashing Pumpkins? Hell, do you enjoy driving a backhoe over cantaloupes, crushing cherry tomatoes in a small Black & Decker vise, and leaving small elegantly arranged plates of arugula salad with raspberry vinaigrette on busy railroad tracks? (Hint: If you answered yes to three out of four of the above, you are probably bored to the verge of senility with your everyday existence, are Gallagher, or both. )
Anyway, if you like them, you'll hate the Dust Bunnies. Which is exactly why I like them so much. How can you dislike a band that wrote a song about locking all of the cast ofFriends in a meat locker, drilling a peephole in the door and charging folks a dollar to watch their cute little perky limbs and their cute little perky shag haircuts go crisp and frozen solid as a sack of Ore-Ida Hash Browns? Need I say more?
Spooky Cat Four
Hoobangy De Bingus, Evicerated Lemon Records
Ah, proof that culture isn't found only in a petrie dish, a six-pack of those UnNaturally Colored Yogurt Fun Cups, or Yuba City. Cool hipster jazz following in the footsteps of MJQ or the Australian Jazz Quartet. The gimmick? These sweet tunes are presumably played by four of those ubiquitous tiny marshmallow sugar candies that appear everywhere around Halloween, much like those drunkenly unattractive women in cheap "devil chick" or "french maid" costumes. How they play the vibraphones sans hands, go figure. I have a sneaky feeling there are a coupla old studio jazzmen back in the studio having a hearty chuckle at the public's expense...
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