octopus motor

cowcrab compendium

cheat death kitty


llama poetry


old issue
[ wanna see the last issue? ]

You mighta noticed that Octopus Motor now lives at phobe.com. Some of our other strange and funny stuff lives there too, so you might wanna check it out -- or if you're too shy, at least drive around the block a couple times to see if the lights are on.

Author's Note: Yeah, its been a pretty darn long while since the last issue. Sorry, I had things to do...but now the spackle is setting nicely, the guinea pigs are getting by just fine without their back legs, and the last load of argyle socks is in the dryer, so I'm back . Qwitcher whinin' and check out some of this new stuff...

This month's issue is dedicated to Lars Norpchen, who was the best Scotty we ever had. A fine and noble companion who rarely, if ever, hacked up biscuits (okay, and then just the cheese-flavored ones) who was unfortunately struck down in his prime (okay, it was more like in the right side of his head actually from what we could tell) by an underinsured Winnebago...We'll Always Love You, Dammit! (snif).

For anyone concerned about Octopus Motor's high level of mock cruelty to animals (BTW: Have you ever tried that "Mock Cruelty Pie"? The recipe's on the side of any Ritz Cracker box...) here's a sincere apology from yours truly...anyone concerned about the rampant ellipsis abuse found in these pages can just go jump in a... ... ... apollo 13 service module

My Tribute To Apollo 13: The Movie, The Space Program, the Frozen Yogurt

Don't forget to check out what's spinnin' at Sparky Spins...

"Step on a crack, break your mother's back..." You'll find a few fine sarcastic cracks from my mother, Peg, on her very own Peg's Page...

All materials (including moof, spackle, litmus paper, shredded wheat bits and fossilized Mike and Ikes) copyright J. Sparks, 1996. Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty Of Law. Please Be Considerate And Leave The Ice Bucket For The Convenience Of Other Guests.

Send comments, questions, (no more litmus paper, please, I could wallpaper the rumpus room with it) to sparks@phobe.com