Here we see a couple o' members of the Apollo 13 crew spending some well-deserved free time playing with their "Barbie Lunar Lander". Naw, I never had one of those either. These guys were spoiled rotten. I bet they all had miniature Gremlins to drive around Kennedy Space Center in, too.
Notice the guy on the left who has the Octopus Motor logo shaved right into his crew cut -- pretty cool, huh? (Either that or he's a big fan of Target Department Stores. Well, okay, maybe he just has a death wish. But hell, is there a guy who offers voluntarily to get in a tin can and be hurtled up above the atmosphere by government employees* who doesn't?)
You'll notice that backup crewman John L. Swigert, Jr. seems to be troubled by something. Could it be the strawberry Pez he has accidently spit out when his head whacked against a porthole amidst gravity-free testing? With all his training, is he prepared for the mental and perhaps oral challenges that now face him? HOW DOES HE GET THE PEZ BACK IN??? This is an example of why astronauts must be unlike us mere mortal men and women -- chock full o' wisdom, courage, advanced technological training, and of course, Tang.
Ya'll know an infamous Dick when you see one, don't you? Yup, that's the man himself, greeting the Apollo 13 crew as they arrive in Honolulu after their "successful splashdown and recovery". (Uh, we meant to do that.) What's interesting in this picture? Well, check out those dogs on James Lovell, Jr. over there on the right. Converse Chuck Taylors! Why, even I wear Chucks...even some of my best friends wear Chucks, I'm not ashamed to say it. What does this mean? Well, that makes ME and MY FRIENDS just like ASTRONAUTS (and therefore, SUPER COOL) because:
I'm exaggerating, of course. No one I know drinks Tang...it's gross.
- We wear Chucks
- We can easily tolerate G forces without yuking
- We drink Tang
- We know how to open those infernal" Freeze-Dried Ice Cream" packages without using our teeth
- We can imitate Neil Armstrong's voice well enough to fool his relatives on the phone
- We don't even notice those silly Space Shuttle launchings anymore
Hey...why didn't anyone notice that accordion-playing bear?
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* DISCLAIMER: Why, both of my parents are employees of the fine establishment that is the U.S. of A. and have been for many many hundreds of years...I would feel perfectly safe entrusting either one of them to project me thousands of miles above the planet in a manned space probe...now that I think of it, they would probably even offer to do it given the opportunity.Also of note: None of the above photographed were portrayed by Tom Hanks.